Evil
by iq2two
Summary: A serial killer is out of jail and targeting Abbie. Based on the episode Agony.
1. Chapter 1

_This story is based on the events of the episode "Agony." A serial killer, Matt Bergstrom, toortured and murdered at least six women, both in New York and Texas, and left almost no evidence. Then he confessed to a murder he had not committed in a deal inwhich he told about the other ones. Then when they found the real killer of the murder he'd confessed to, Abbie wanted to give the real killer to the Feds and convict both men of the same crime, one in federal court and one in district court, but Jack refused as that was too unethical even for him. They they made a fake extradition request from Texas and Abbie convinced him that if he didn't confess to one of the murders in New York and make a deal with them, he would be extradited to Texas, where he would get the death penalty. I hope I summarized it okay for anyone who hasn't seen it._

_This story takes place about season 17 or so._

_I don't own Law & Order._

The cold air washed over Abbie as she stepped out of the Chinese take-out restaurant, her arms full of boxes of food. She could have had it delivered, of course, but it was only a few blocks away from her office and she needed to get away from her desk for at least a few minutes.

Although the sidewalk was crowded, she recognized him right away. The tall, lean man standing only a few yards away from her had brutally tortured and murdered at least six women. But Matt Bergstrom had pled guilty to one of his murders to avoid being extradited to Texas, where he would face the death penalty.

Despite the fact that he should be in prison, Abbie knew it was him. She would never forget his face as he described the details of his murders to her, clearly wishing that he could do those things to her instead of just telling her about it. Although she was a hardened prosecutor, she still had nightmares about Matt Bergstrom sometimes. Abbie knew she was not mistaken. It was him.

Now, on the sidewalk, he caught her eye and gave a tiny, bone chilling smile. She began to walk, quickly, but not fast enough to attract attention. She looked over her shoulder twice. He wasn't following her, or if he was, he was very good at it.

The Chinese food was still hot in her hands when she arrived at the U.S. Attorneys' office. She started to go in, then stopped. Matt Bergstrom was supposed to be in jail, but he wasn't. Had he escaped, or been paroled? She could make a few phone calls and find out, but she suddenly had a better idea.

She turned around and went into the building next door instead, the District Attorneys' Office. Although it had been years since she'd worked there, the place had not changed, and she was soon in Jack McCoy's office.

"Abbie! How are you?"

"I'm good," she replied automatically, before remembering that at the moment that was not exactly true. "I need to talk to you. Are you busy right now?"

"No more than usual."

They both sat down. Abbie offered Jack some Chinese food, which he accepted. She hadn't eaten since morning, and had been ravenous when she went into the restaurant, but at the sight of the serial killer her appetite had vanished. "Do you remember Matt Bergstrom?" she asked him.

Jack looked at her sharply. "Of course. He murdered six women, confessed to one he didn't commit, you eventually got him to plead to life without parole to avoid the death penalty…"

"I saw him on the street today."

Jack looked at her, took in her serious expression and the fear hidden behind the anger in her eyes, and did not ask if she was sure. Instead he said, "He was sentenced to life without parole."

"I know," Abbie told him.

After several moments of silence, Jack said, "I'll find out if he's still- what happened." He got up and made a phone call. Despite her lack of appetite, Abbie began to pick at the Chinese food.

Jack hung up the phone, and started to turn back to Abbie, then suddenly stopped, picked up the phone again, and made another call. He spoke so quietly Abbie couldn't hear what he was saying.

He finished the phone call and sat back down. "He was paroled, two weeks ago."

Abbie dropped the plastic fork she was holding. "Paroled? What happened to life with_out_ parole? That's supposed to mean he stays in prison until he dies, not gets out in, what, nine years!" Her eyes flashed anger.

"The guy I talked to isn't sure how it happened. He thinks it probably has to do with prison overcrowding."

"_Prison overcrowding_???" Abbie was almost yelling. "I think out of every single criminal I've ever convicted, Matt Bergstrom should be the very last person who should be let out of prison!" She ranted about Matt Bergstrom and the problems of the criminal justice system for several minutes.

When she finished, Jsack said, "Abbie, you need to be careful. I ordered an around-the-clock guard for you. Remember, Bergstrom hated you."

Abbie did remember, and the thought that he was coming after her had occurred to her- there was no way it was just a coincidence shed seen him. Even so, she immediately protested. "Jack, I don't need a bodyguard, I can take care of myself!"

They argued about it for a few minutes. She lost the argument.

TBC

_Please review. Oh, and I'm not abandoning "Life and Death," I'm about half way done with the next chapter on that,_


	2. Chapter 2

_I don't own Law & Order._

Abbie was still shaken when she went back to the U.S. Attorneys' Office where she now worked, but she didn't show it.

"What happened?" one of her coworkers asked. "I thought you went to get takeout, you were gone forever and you don't have any food."

"It's a long story," Abbie said dismissively. "Now, where are we with the wiretap we just got?" She worked for several hours, even later than she usually did and tried, not quite successfully, to put Matt Bergstrom out of her mind.

It was just past midnight when she finally went home. All her coworkers had left already, and the hall had a dim spookiness as she walked out of the building. She wondered what had happened to the bodyguard Jack had ordered- not that she wanted one, but it was weird that none had shown up. Abbie wished she had a gun with her- she had several at home, but it was too much of a bother to carry one around, what with the various metal detectors she had to go through.

Abbie had just stepped out of the door of the building when a figure stepped out of the shadows toward her, and maybe it was lucky she didn't have a gun, because she was spooked enough to shoot first and ask questions later.

"Let me give you a ride home," said the figure.

"Jack," Abbie tried not to let the relief show in her voice. "How long have you been waiting for?" she asked.

"I was just heading out and I decided to stop by to tell you that your bodyguard canceled, and to see if you needed a ride," he said innocently.

"Yeah right," Abbie said, not believing him for an instant, but she didn't push it. "Are you still riding the motorcycle?"

"Yes," he said, leading her over to it. "But which are you more afraid of, my bike or Matt Bergstrom?"

"I am not afraid of your bike," she said indignantly, climbing on behind him. "And that's a logical fallacy, anyway."

Her house was not far, and they were here within a few minutes. "Do you want me to come inside and check your house with you?" Jack asked as she got off the motorcycle.

Abbie rolled her eyes. "I don't know if that was a clumsy attempt at a pickup line or an overly chivalrous concern for my safety, but either way, I'm fine."

Jack laughed and drove off.

Abbie unlocked her door and stepped inside.

TBC...

_Please review, I'm going to update soon. I have what's going to happen next planned out and I think you'll like it._


	3. Chapter 3

_I don't own Law & Order._

It took Abbie a few moments to realize that something was wrong. She wasn't quite sure how she knew. That would have taken a few more seconds, but she didn't have those seconds, because before she could even reach over and flick on the light, something pounced at her and suddenly a man was holding her and there was a sharp, cold, point jabbed into her chest.

A knife.

Abbie froze. Her mind flashed back to the crime scene pictures she'd seen of his victims, and of his confession of how he had tortured and murdered six women, every word aimed at her. He had not been confessing but reliving his murders with Abbie as the victim. And now he was getting the chance to actually kill her.

No. She would not let him kill her, and with that thought, she was suddenly free of her paralysis. She ignored the knife and tried to push Matt Bergstrom away from her, her mind unwillingly flashing back not to her last encounter with him but to what had happened to her in college. She pushed the thought away from her, but had less success with the murderer, he was stronger than he looked, and had a knife, and suddenly there was a sharp pain in her arm and blood was dripping from the knife wound. He smiled, and Abbie began to fight harder, wishing that he didn't have her cornered against the door so she could actually fight, wishing that she had her gun, wishing that she had just sucked up her pride or whatever it was and let Jack walk her in.

Matt Bergstrom began talking, describing in explicit detail exactly what he was going to do to her. It was even worse than listening to his confession, and Abbie tried to block out the words, tried to think of what she could do, how she could get away, how she could fight, of anything she could do to make the words he was saying not be true.

He grabbed her, and despite the knife now at her throat she struggled as hard as she could against him, but it was useless, and there was nothing she could do against his voice in her ear describing how he was going to demean her and torture her and kill her. Suddenly the room was flooded by light, and his voice was saying how he wanted to be able to see her face, and suddenly she screamed, as loud as she could, a long scream- why hadn't she screamed before?- that did not stop when he pressed the knife harder against her, did not stop until she ran out of breath. She was just drawing air for another scream when his hand pressed over her mouth. She bit him, hard, and he jerked his hand away and she drew air to scream again until he thrust something, a piece of cloth, maybe, into her mouth, a gag. He looked at his hand, where she had bit him, and laughed, a bone chilling laugh that would have been terrifying even if it had not come from a man trying to kill her.

Now there was the chance that someone had heard her scream, but she doubted it, and he was saying that no one would come, no one would hear her screams, which would be a stupid, corny line from a horror movie except that it wasn't. He suddenly had a rope he had taken out from somewhere and began to tie her hands and she suddenly knew that he was going to kill her, that she was about to die.

Abbie managed to spit out the gag, and went very still and allowed him to work on tying her hands together, and tried not to hear what he was saying, and he had almost completed the knot when she suddenly jerked her hands away, hard. The rope fell to the ground.

The cold metal of the knife was at her chest again. She screamed, not the loud, trying to attract attention scream of before but a small scream of sheer terror, and he smiled and she suddenly grabbed the knife and shoved it hard into his throat.

Blood began to pour out of the wound. He choked and gurgled, and then died.

._Isn't it ironic that it'll be a woman who kills you?_ Abbie remembered asking him, threatening him with the death penalty.

It was ironic.

But she didn't smile at the irony, just stood there, staring at his body, still clutching the bloody knife. She had just killed a man. Yes, it was self defense, yes, he deserved to die, yes, she'd told him that she would happily push the button to kill him. But none of that mitigated the fact that the body on the floor was no longer alive because she had slit its throat.

TBC

_Please read and review! This story is far from over, by the way._


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: I don't own Law & Order._

Abbie didn't know how long she stood there for until she realized that there was nothing to stand there waiting for, no one was coming. Not even realizing she was still holding the bloody knife, she carefully stepped over the body, crossed the room to the phone, and called the police.

They arrived quickly, first two uniforms- who looked at her very nervously and demanded she drop her weapon, at which point she realized she was still holding the knife- then a medical examiner she didn't know, then the detectives, Detective Green and his partner, a young woman who was introduced as Detective Cassady. They asked her if she was okay, she said she was, they read her her rights, assuring her that in this case it was just a formality, she agreed to waive them, they asked her what happened, she told them, they asked her to come down to the precinct to make a statement, she agreed and got in the car. Through all of it she was too dazed to really think about what had happened.

At the precinct, in the interrogation room sitting at what felt like the wrong side of the table, they asked her to go over it again, in more detail. She started to, told them about Matt Bergstrom, a little about the case- it had been before either of them- about his confession, his sentence, about seeing him on the street, and going to Jack's office- only she stopped, right before that, and realized that he didn't know yet that any of this had happened, still thought that after he'd driven her home she'd gone inside and gone safely to bed. It seemed incredible, that he didn't know, as if he lived in an alternate universe where none of it had happened.

"I need to use a phone," Abbie told the detectives.

"Can it wait until you finish your statement?" asked Detective Cassady.

"No," she insisted. "I just need to make a quick phone call, I'll finish as soon as I'm done."

She convince them, or rather, refused to say another word until they let her make a call, and they decided it would be easier to give in than argue and brought in a phone.

"Jack McCoy." His voice was groggy, she'd woken him up.

"Jack? She suddenly didn't know what to say.

"Abbie?" any hint of sleep left his voice, replaced by fear. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. No. I don't know."

"What happened?" Panic, now.

"I…" she didn't know what to say, how to tell him what had happened since he'd dropped her off in front of her house a million years ago. "Matt Bergstrom was at my house." Jack started to say something, but she continued over him. "He ambushed me when I went in, and-" how to say it? "and I killed him."

The silence on the other end of the line filled Abbie with terror. Finally, he said, "Where are you now?"

"At the precinct giving a statement."

"I'll be right there."

"You don't have to," she told him, although she was so glad that he was coming.

"Abbie, I'll be right there," he repeated, and hung up.

She'd finished giving her statement by the time Jack arrived, but they'd asked her to wait for a little while, so she was still in the interrogation room.

Jack came in, looked her over sharply, his eyes narrowing as he saw the cuts on her neck and arm, making he suddenly conscious of them. He pulled a chair around to Abbie's side of the table and sat down next to her, a gesture she was grateful for.

"I'm sorry," Jack told her. "I should have came in with you, made sure it was safe."

"Jack, it's not your fault."

He didn't reply to that, but Abbie got the feeling he didn't agree. They sat there in an oddly comfortable silence, until he asked her, "Do you want to tell me about it?"

Abbie flashed back to time when she'd told him that she was a rape victim, and instead of asking her about it he had gently let her know that if she wanted to talk about it, he was there, and as she had then, Abbie began to tell him about what had just happened. Not just the facts, as she'd told the police, but how terrified she'd been, the thoughts that had been going through her head as she'd tried to fight him off, and how traumatic killing him had been, even though it was self-defense, even though he deserved to die, how she couldn't come to grips with the fact that she had ended someone's life.

She talked for a long time, her words for the most part a confused jumble of emotions, and he listened, until she finally stopped talking.

There was nothing he could say. He couldn't tell her they'd get him because she already had, and that was part of the problem, he couldn't tell her it would be okay because she knew enough to know that was a lie. He touched her arm, and they sat there in silence.

Then Detective Green came back in. He looked upset. "Abbie, I'm sorry, but we're going to have to arrest you. The district attorney wants to charge you with murder."

"What?" Jack shouted, enraged. Abbie was so shocked she was speechless.

"Branch called himself. His words were, 'We need to let the public know that just because she used to work for this office doesn't mean we'll let her get away with murder.' It's an election year."

"That's crap! It was self-defense!" exclaimed Abbie.

Jack got up. "I'm going to go talk to him and straighten this out. Will you be okay?" he asked Abbie.

"Yes," she said, but she didn't know whether it was true.

TBC!

_Please review._


	5. Chapter 5

_I don't own Law & Order._

The detectives waited as long as they could, but eventually they had to book her. Abbie had to go through the ordeal of being fingerprinted, photographed, strip-searched, and placed in a cell with three other women, two of them apparently prostitutes and one obviously high on something. They ignored her, and she sat there in silence, trying not to dwell on what had happened, what was happening.

She didn't sleep at all, just sat there, trying not to think.

In the morning, she was arraigned. She'd done so many arraignments that being on the other side of it, being the one to say, "Not guilty, Your Honor," when the judge asked how the defendant pleads, felt like something out of a bad dream. She had a public defender, although she planned to hire a different lawyer once she got the chance, and she stood next to the defense lawyer in what felt like the wrong place, and watched the woman who had what had one been her job request that she be given $100,000 bail, cash or bond, which was granted.

She was then taken back to her cell.

She sat, motionless, trying to figure out what was going on and what she could do. It was clearly self-defense, she could easily prove it. Right?

After a while, she heard footsteps approach the cell. She assumed it was a guard, but when she looked up, Jack McCoy was standing there.

"I talked to Arthur. You probably figured out he wouldn't budge," he told her, taking her last dim ray of hope.

"Thanks anyway," she said dully.

"I paid your bail."

"Thanks."

Jack waited while she was slowly released, then walked out with her. Once outside, he asked her, "Have you found a lawyer yet?"

"Not yet. I'm thinking of trying the lawyers I've most hated working against." Jack was glad to hear a trace of humor in Abbie's voice.

"What about a lawyer you like working with?" he asked.

"What do you- _you_?"

"I quit my job," he told her.

"So what are you going to do now, become a defense attorney?"

"Only for this case, if you'll have me, then I'm planning to run against Arthur in the next election."

Abbie smiled, and said, "Assuming I'm not a convicted felon and can still vote, I'll vote for you. And I'd love for you to represent me."

_TBC_

_Author's Note: I know Jack didn't actually run against Arthur, he was appointed to serve out the rest of the term, but I'm using poetic licence here. _

_And sorry it's so short, I'll try to update soon, although I go back to school tomorrow so I probably won't be able to update much during the week, but we'll see._

_Please review!_


	6. Chapter 6

_I don't own Law & Order._

_Sorry I haven't posted for a while, on this or any of my other stories, but things have been really hectic. I'm in Youth and Government, and we were at Bob 2, which is our training thing, this weekend, and I'm in the court program, and our case is a case where the defense (I'm hoping to be the defense) is alleging it's self-defense and the prosecution, obviously, is alleging it's not. Besides for that it's completely nothing like this story but it's still really cool because I'll know the law about self defense versus the degrees of murder and manslaugter, at least in California. So anyway, that's why I'm so busy, besides school. Also, I just realized this chapter is really short, but it took forever to write._

By unspoken mutual agreement, they walked to Abbie's house. It wasn't very far, about a twenty minute walk at their slow, pondering pace. It would have been easier to take the subway, or a cab, but Abbie needed to slowly assimilate back into the real world, and though she didn't voice the feeling, or even form the thought, Jack understood, and their slow walk from the surreal horror of the jail to her house was the best way to accomplish that.

They started to talk about her case, speculating about who would prosecute her, beginning to brainstorm their defense. It was Abbie who brought it up, but after a few minutes the discussion became suddenly unbearable. The words pounded at her, pressed around her, made her feel almost claustrophobic. She didn't let on, continued to keep up her side of the conversation, determined not to show any sign of weakness or unease or vulnerability or anything that would show that she was in any way affected by any of this. It was ridiculous, she knew that. It was normal, after what she had just been through, not to feel strong and confident and herself. There should be no shame in admitting it.

But she was not going to let her mask drop.

"We can call witnesses to testify to Bergstrom's former crimes, to show a pattern of behavior. And- did you talk to anyone about him, once you found out he was out?"

Abbie forced herself to listen to what Jack was saying, pushed the words through her brain until she finally comprehended the question, and dredged up an answer. "Just you," she told him. "It's too bad you can't call yourself as a witness- can you? Maybe I could call you as a witness and question you…"

Jack said something in reply, and she mechanically made some inane comment that might have been a response, and he said something else, and suddenly Abbie was crying, loud, choking sobs and a flood of hot tears.

She hated it, hated herself for it, especially for the fact that her loss of control was in public, in front of Jack, in front of any random person who happened to be walking down the street. And people were staring at her, random strangers gawking rudely and worse, Jack gazing at her with concern.

"Abbie." He touched her arm, but she pulled away.

"I'm fine!" she snapped. Jack, and the other pedestrians, were still looking at her, their gazes boring into her brain. "I'M FINE!!!" she screamed wildly. The random pedestrians quickly looked away and hurried on.

She didn't know how long they stood there in the middle of the sidewalk, she crying and Jack standing there, just far enough from her for his presence not to be stifling. She wished he'd leave, or rather, wished she could leave, could just melt into the ground or disappear into thin air. Finally, she took a deep breath, wiped her eyes, and looked at him. "Let's go."

TBC

_I hope you don't think this is too out-of-character for Abbie. I don't really think it is, I think after being attacked, killing someone, and being put in jail and realizing that you're going to be tried for murder, anyone would loose it a little. But tell me what you think._

_Anyway, please review. I'll try to update this, and "Slow Motion Bullet" and "Life and Death", which I seriously haven't updated for avery long time._


	7. Chapter 7

_I still don't own Law & Order._

Although yellow tape was no longer roped across Abbie's living room, the blood was still there, the large reddish-brown that greeted them when they opened the door a gruesome welcome mat.

The sight of it made Abbie feel sick, but despite her revulsion, she stepped over it. Jack followed.

She ignored him and went into the bathroom and trashed her bloodstained clothes. She turned the shower on pure hot and tried to wash away the blood and grime, both literally and metaphorically. She was more successful with the former.

She got dressed, in clothes that had never seen the inside of a prison cell, and went back into the living room. Jack was sitting on her couch, talking on the phone. "Yes, that's good… Sure." He hung up.

"I called crime scene clean up," he told Abbie.

"Thanks," she said, and sat down next to him.

"No problem. They'll be here at noon tomorrow, and they said you probably won't want to be home."

Abbie nodded, then said abruptly, "Jack, I'm sorry."

He looked at her sharply. "For what?"

"I don't know… for everything. For what happened, and I've been being-"

"Don't apologize," said Jack. "You had to kill him, Abbie, you didn't do anything wrong."

"Yeah," she said, unconvinced.

Jack was about to say something else when his phone rang. "Jack McCoy… Yes, I am… You're crazy!… No!… We won't plead… No… The only deal we'll accept is a complete dismissal of charges and a public apology… It would only be a good deal if she was guilty… No, I know that she's not!… Mr. Cutter, we're not even going to consider a plea… Yes, I'm aware of my ethical responsibilities and I'll pass on your offer… I don't care how long you're offering it, Abbie will plead guilty when hell freezes over, and maybe not even then!" he slammed down the phone.

He turned to Abbie, glowering. "That was my replacement, offering you man one to save the taxpayers the expense of a trial since 'we both know' you're guilty."

"What a generous offer- I'll pass." Her voice was as laden with sarcasm as his.

"Then let's start working on your defense."

_I hope you like it, please review! I'm actually pretty inspired on this story right now, so there's a chance I'll update it again this weekend. And if not I'll be really inspired in about two weeks because we're going to Sacramento and I'll be trying a self-defense case in mock court, so I'll probably write the trial part then. _

_Oh, what do you think about Mike Cutter prosecuting?_


	8. Chapter 8

_I'm sorry it's been so long, I've been really busy. My Youth & Government court case was last weekend, it was awesome and it did inspire me on this story- to write the ending, well, almost the ending. But anyway, here's this chapter._

_I don't own Law & Order._

"Ms. Carmichael, isn't it true that you hated Matt Bergstrom?" Jack demanded in his best cross-examination style.

"I was disgusted by him, and scared of him, but I didn't hate him."

"You railroaded him into being convicted in the first place, didn't you?"

"Yes. No. I don't know. We've been doing this forever."

It was about eight in the evening, and they'd been working since early afternoon. They'd decided to start not with the questions Jack would ask on direct examination, but with preparing for the prosecution's cross.

Abbie hadn't realized how hard it would be. She was innocent. All she had to do was tell the truth, not let the prosecution bully her into saying something stupid. And she was not easily bullied. But now, being pounded by questions to which there were no right answers, she saw how easy it would be to break down on the stand. She could make one slip of the tongue, and the jury would believe she was a cold-blooded murderer.

"We'll take a break," Jack agreed. "You've had a long- has it only been a day?" It seemed hard to believe that about twenty four hours earlier, she had first seen Matt Bergstrom on the street.

"I'll go pick up some food," she offered, then regretted it, because she really, really, didn't want to repeat a single detail of what had happened the previous day. She couldn't live in fear, of course- and she wouldn't, she wasn't afraid to go outside, she wouldn't spend the rest of her life avoiding the block where she had seen him, or stepping over that spot on her carpet- she _wouldn't_- but did she have to go confront her fears right now? "Unless you want to go," she suggested to Jack, trying too hard to sound casual.

He wasn't fooled. He looked at her, and she could tell he wanted to say something but wasn't sure what. Finally, he said, "Sure, I'll be back in a couple minutes," like her, trying too hard to keep his voice casual.

Almost as soon as he'd left the house, Abbie regretted it. She felt like a wimp for giving in to her fear, for, as illogical as it sounded, letting Matt Bergstrom win. She felt like she was betraying her gender by staying locked in her house instead of going out and facing her fears, felt like she was living up to the stereotype that women are weak, although she knew that it had nothing to do with gender, that had it been Jack who had been attacked and had killed another human being, he wouldn't have gone out either. Except that he would have. She knew he would have. But then again, she always would have thought that she would have, too.

She pondered that, what Jack would have done had he been in her place. Maybe he never would have been in her place. Maybe it was her fault, for being too stupid to take the danger seriously, for being to proud to let him walk her into her house, for being too weak to be able to fight him off with less than lethal force, for not doing something, anything, differently.

But if she hadn't killed him, he would have killed her. She'd done what she had to, and as much as she regretted it, she wasn't sure if she thought she had done anything wrong. She was the victim there, but she didn't _want_ to be a victim, but if she didn't take the role of victim, all that was left was the role of cold-blooded murderer.

Abbie was jolted out of her depressing thoughts by a knock on the door. She froze, but it was just Jack, carrying a bag of food, and she let him in. He took out a white styrofoam box, and opened it, revealing barbecued ribs.

The memories they evoked pushed back her insecurities, and she was once again her confident self. "No low-cal salad?" she joked as she took a rib and began to eat.

"You know I know you better than that now," Jack replied, and she was glad he remembered too. "I was asking you, isn't it true that Matt Bergstrom was in jail in the first place because you railroaded him?"

"He was in jail because he was a serial killer."

"They'd object, that's nonresponsive."

"Well, railroaded is vague and ambiguous."

"You're the witness, you can't object."

"Yeah, I hate that part. Remind me not to kill anyone again after this is over."

Jack laughed and asked her another intense cross-examination question, and she took a bite of food to give herself time to think of an answer.

The familiarity of eating together while working late on a case was weird- it was the same, but it wasn't. She had been the lawyer, now she was the client; they had been the prosecution, now they were trying to get her off. Even so, it reminded her so strongly of her days as an ADA, and she missed it. It wasn't that she didn't like her job as an AUSA, prosecuting terrorists and other federal criminals, but it wasn't the same. Although it was unlikely that she'd still have that job; the federal government didn't really like employing prosecutors who were accused of murder.

They worked for several more hours, until Abbie gave an enormous yawn and suddenly realized that she hadn't slept in about forty hours. "I want to go to sleep now," she told him.

He nodded. "It's been a long day. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Jack."

He left, and, suddenly overcome by the exhaustion she'd been suppressing, Abbie locked the door behind him and crawled into bed.

She was tired enough that despite everything she felt asleep quickly and that night, at least, she didn't dream.

TBC

_The ribs and the low-cal salad reference is from the episode "DWB", if you've seen it you'll know what I'm talking about, if not, don't worry about it. _

_Please review. _


	9. Chapter 9

_I haven't really been replying to reviews so I'll say here, Gil Shalos1, EnforcerAndAccuserFan, mccoylover, Haldir's Heart and Soul, and locisvu82, thank you for the great reviews._

_I don't own Law & Order._

Abbie didn't wake up until eleven the next morning, but it didn't really matter, she didn't have to be anywhere. She thought she should probably call her office and find out exactly what her employment status was, but she didn't want to deal with it.

She was supposed to be out of the house by noon for the crime scene clean up, so after she'd gotten dressed and eaten breakfast, she left, purposely walking right over the brownish stain in front of her door.

It took her a moment after steeping out of the door to realize that the crowd of people surrounding her were reporters. She froze, resisted the temptation to give them the middle finger, and ignored them, despite their shouted questions, as she locked her door, then pushed past them.

"Is it true that you're a murderer?"

"What is your opinion of the charges against you?"

"What can you tell us about what happened?"

"Do you feel that you've been unfairly accused?"

"Do you plan to fight the charges to trial?"

"How do you feel about…"

"No comment!" Abbie told them repeatedly as she pushed through the crowd. She wasn't sure where to go, she had planned to walk around for a while to make up for her cowardice the previous night, but she wasn't going to with the reporters following her.

"What is your relationship with Jack McCoy? Why did he quit the district attorney's office to represent you?" She heard one of the reporters shout out from the crowd.

"No comment."

She saw a taxi, and despite not knowing where she was going, she got in to escape the reporters.

………………………………...

"Did you see this man the night before last?" Michael Cutter asked the woman at the Chinese restaurant, showing her a photo of Matt Bergstrom on his PDA.

"No. No, I would have remembered him. He looks… evil."

Mike inwardly groaned. This woman, who knew nothing about their victim, thought he looked evil; a jury, after hearing about him, would feel the same.

He held up his picture of Abbie Carmichael again. "You said this woman looks familiar, can you remember the last time you saw her?"

"Uh, she's right there," the woman told him, pointing behind him.

Mike spun around. The woman who had just come through the door of the restaurant was indeed the woman in the picture he was showing- Abbie Carmichael, former A.D.A., and a murderer.

She noticed him staring at her, and glared briefly, then ignored him, turned to the woman he had been talking to, and said, "Excuse me, my name is Abbie Carmichael, do you remember seeing me here the night before last?"

"Um, I don't remember. This man here was just asking about you," the now very confused woman told her.

She turned back to Mike and demanded, "Who are you?"

"Michael Cutter. I'm the new Executive Assistant District Attorney."

She did not appear impressed. "So you're the one who'll be prosecuting me. Nice meeting you." She turned and left before he could get in another word, or find out why she was there.

………………………………...

Abbie had been planning to look for witnesses who had seen her around the time when she'd seen Matt Bergstrom and testified that she had seemed scared, and had not seemed to be plotting murder, that he was the one following her, that she had not tried to lure him into her house or have any conversation with him or whatever the prosecution was going to claim.

But she would do that later, when the man who was going to be prosecuting her was not there. If that's Jack's replacement, he has no chance, she thought. But although she doubted that Michael Cutter was as good of a lawyer as Jack, or her, or especially both of them together, it didn't make her any less afraid. If anything, running into Cutter had reinforced the reality of her situation. And he was certainly looking for prosecution witnesses. Would he find any? She hadn't been planning to kill Matt Bergstrom, hadn't done anything suspicious, but still…

Abbie was not intimidated by Mike Cutter. He had no chance against a team made up of the two best lawyers ever to work for the D.A.'s office. She was innocent. They _had_ to win.

But somehow, she wasn't sure they would.

TBC

_Anyway, this chapter was sort-of short and pretty transitional. I don't know if Abbie meeting Mike Cutter seemed too random, I didn't plan it, it just happened. I don't think this chapter is as good as ost of this story, but I'm getting stuck and I want to get to the good parts already, so as I said, this one was pretty uch transition, and then Mike Cutter jumped in. Please review. :-)_


	10. Chapter 10

_I still don't own Law & Order._

_So yeah, I'm skipping ahead a lot, but I want to get to the trial, I have some good plans for it. I've already written the verdict, actually, just not what comes in between. I'm pretty much planning to cove the whole trial, so it might be long, I'm not quite sure. I got an idea for another really good story that's more plt based and like an actual episode, but I'm not going to start it yet, I'm working on enough right now. Oh, and I have not abandoned Life and Death or Slow Motion Bullet, I'm working on both of them, slowly, and I will finish both of them. I pretty much know where Lfe and Death is going (well, I know exatly where it's going since I've written the last chapter, and I pretty much know how I'm going to get there), but I have no idea yet where I'm going to take Slow Motion Bullet so if you're reading that one too, I'm open to suggestions._

It had been three months since Abbie had killed Matt Bergstrom, and, now, sitting at the defense table, she was nearly as terrified as she had been when his knife had been at her throat. Although her life was not in the immediate danger had been in then- for the first time, Abbie was glad that New York no longer had the death penalty- she could be convicted of murder and spend the rest of her life in a prison cell.

She did not show her fear, and appeared as calm as any time she'd sat on the prosecution side of the table. She'd once wondered how defendants on trial for their lives could appear so calm, but it wasn't really that hard.

"Does it seem as weird to you as it does to me, sitting on the defense side?" Abbie asked Jack softly, glancing over at the table where Mike Cutter and Connie Rubirosa sat.

Jack nodded, and started to say something, but just then, the bailiff announced, "All rise for the Honorable Judge William McKenna."

They stood up as the judge entered, then sat down again. "Will the attorneys please stand and identify themselves?" requested Judge McKenna. Abbie resisted the urge to stand with Jack and the prosecutors, reminding herself yet again that she was a defendant, not an attorney.

"Mr. McCoy, you're on the defense side now?" the judge asked after all the attorneys had identified themselves.

"For this case, yes, Your Honor," Jack replied. "I feel that justice cannot be served in this case by prosecuting Ms. Carmichael."

The prosecutors bristled, but were not given a chance to respond, as the judge asked, "Is the prosecution ready to make their opening statement?"

"Yes, Your Honor," said Cutter, and walked to the podium.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, the evidence will show that the defendant viciously, brutally, murdered a man in cold blood. You will see that she _hated_ the victim, Matt Bergstrom."

Abbie bristled at hearing Bergstrom called the victim.

"You will hear evidence to show the defendant conspired to put Mr. Bergstrom in prison by threatening him with death. You will see a document that Ms. Carmichael forged, a letter she printed herself on letterhead from Texas and claimed was a letter requesting that he be extradited to Texas where he would face the death penalty. You will hear testimony that the defendant manipulated Mr. Bergstrom, telling him that if he didn't plead guilty, he would die. You will hear testimony that she said she wished she could place the needle in his arm herself.

The defendant wanted to kill Mr. Bergstrom eight years ago, and when she found out that he was out of prison, she realized she finally had the chance. The defendant is a vigilante who bent the law to put Mr. Bergstrom in prison eight years ago, and now broke the law to put him in his grave."

Abbie was glaring at Cutter, despising him for twisting her actions this way. He would have done the same thing in her place, was doing worse now. Maybe she had strong-armed Matt Bergstrom a little, but he was a serial killer who had tortured and murdered four women. Unlike Cutter, she had not been trying to put an _innocent_ person in prison.

"We can't know exactly why Mr. Bergstrom went to Ms. Carmichael's house. Maybe she lured him there. Maybe he went there to talk with her. Maybe he had some other reason. He can't tell us; he's dead. But one thing is sure. Matt Bergstrom did not go to Ms. Carmichael's house to kill her. He went unarmed. You will hear testimony that the murder weapon, the knife that the defendant used to kill him, was her _own_ knife. It was part of a set of kitchen knives found in her kitchen. When the police questioned her, she even admitted it was her knife."

So? Abbie thought sarcastically, he tried to kill me with my own knife, therefore, I'm a murderer.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the evidence will show that the defendant hated the victim, that she wanted to kill him eight years ago and finally got her chance, that she viciously murdered a man with malice aforethought. All the evidence will show that the defendant is guilty of this brutal crime, and I will ask you to find her so."

TBC

_Please review. Oh, does anyone remember who Matt Bergstrom's lawyer was? Or also, when exactly did Abbie say that she wanted to stick the needle in hs arm herself? Who else was there? If no one remembers I'll just make up an appellate lawyer and have Bergstrom have put it in the appelate documents, because as you can see from the prosecution's opening, it makes up a large part of the prosecution's case. Oh, also, I'm aware that I didn't mention Abbie telling the police that the knife was hers, but she did so at some point when the police were questioning her._


	11. Chapter 11

_I don't own Law & Order._

_Yes, this chapter is incredibly short, but I'm working on the next chapter and will probably post it tonight. Also, for anyone reading Life and Death, I'm still working on it._

"Does the defense wish to make an opening statement?" asked the judge.

"Yes, Your Honor," Jack said, and walked over to stand in front of the jury.

"The evidence will show that Abbie Carmichael killed Matt Bergstrom in self defense. You will see that _he_ was the vicious, brutal, murderer, a serial killer who had tortured and killed other women and was planning to do the same to Ms. Carmichael. It's true that she disliked him, maybe even hated him, but more than that, she was afraid of him.

"Mr. Cutter says that she planned to kill Matt Bergstrom for eight years. How? You'll see that until the night before his death, she believed that he was in jail, and would be for the rest of his life. And when he got out of jail, _he_ followed _her_. You'll hear testimony that from the first time he saw Ms. Carmichael, he hated her and wanted to kill her. Once he was out of jail, he planned to do so. He followed her, broke into her house when she wasn't home, took a knife from her own kitchen, and when he walked in the door, he attacked her. She had no choice. You'll hear how he attacked her with a knife, how he cut her and gagged her and tried to tie her up the way he had tied up his other victims before he tortured and killed them. But she fought him. She was strong enough and lucky enough to be able to fight back. And in doing so, she killed him. Abbie Carmichael never wanted to kill anyone. But if she hadn't, she would have been the one to die that night. Don't punish her for fighting for her life."

Jack sat down. The opening statement had been short, but effective- the jury paid close attention. But it was now the prosecution's turn to present their case, and prove that Abbie had committed a cold-blooded murder.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

_I don't own Law & Order._

"Are the People ready to call their first witness?" asked Judge McKenna.

"Yes, Your Honor," said Cutter. "The People call Chris Webb."

Webb was a short man in his late thirties who looked as if he hadn't had enough sleep in a long time. His shoulders were slumped as he walked down the hall to the witness stand. He did not look at Abbie.

"Please state and spell your full name," said Michael Cutter.

"Chris Webb, C-H-R-I-S W-E-B-B." His voice was emotionless with fatigue.

"And what is your occupation, Mr. Webb?"

"I'm an appellate attorney."

"Did you know Matt Bergstrom?"

"Yes, I represented him on his appeal.

"Did he ever mention Abbie Carmichael to you?" Cutter asked.

"Objection!" Jack jumped to his feet. "Anything Matt Bergstrom told his attorney is privileged."

"He's dead and Mr. McCoy is in no position to assert that privilege."

"Mr. Cutter is in no position to waive it," retorted Jack.

"I talked to his legal heir, who agreed to waive attorney-client privilege with Mr. Webb," Cutter told the judge.

"Overruled," Judge McKenna decided finally.

"Did Matt Bergstrom ever mention Abbie Carmichael to you?" Cutter asked Webb again.

"Yes."

"What did he say?"

"Objection!" Jack shouted, jumping to his feet. "Hearsay!"

"Your Honor, the statement was made as part of Mr. Bergstrom's appeal and falls under an exception to hearsay."

"Overruled. Mr. Webb, you may answer the question."

"He said that she coerced him into confessing."

"How did she do that?"

"He said she told him he'd be extradited to Texas to face the death penalty if he didn't confess."

Cutter held up a piece of paper. "Your honor, may this letter be marked as prosecution's exhibit 1?"

"So ordered," agreed the judge.

The clerk marked the exhibit into evidence, then Cutter showed it to Jack. Abbie saw it was the letter purportedly requesting Bergstrom's extradition she had written eight years ago.

"May the record reflect I am showing the exhibit to counsel."

"No objection," said Jack.

"Your Honor, may I approach the witness?" requested Cutter. The judge agreed. And Cutter brought the letter over to the witness stand.

"Mr. Webb, do you recognize this?"

"Yes."

"What is it?"

"It's a letter, printed on Texas letterhead, requesting that Matt Bergstrom be extradited to Texas to face capital charges."

"Where did you get it?"

"I subpoenaed it from the New York district attorney's office five years ago, for use in Mr. Bergstrom's appeal."

"What did Mr. Bergstrom tell you about this letter?"

"Objection, hearsay!" protested Jack,

"Overruled."

"That he'd pleaded guilty because he didn't want to face the death penalty in Texas, and he believed he would have because of that letter."

"So he pleaded guilty because of that letter?"

"Yes."

"Do you know where the letter came from?"

"It came from the district attorney's office."

"In Texas?"

"No, in New York."

"Even though it's on Texas letterhead?"

"Yes. Ms. Carmichael had some left over from when she worked in Texas."

"Mr. Webb, do you know who wrote the letter?"

"Yes. The defendant, Abbie Carmichael."

"How do you know?"

"In doing research for Mr. Bergstrom's appeal, I found out that the letter wasn't really from Texas, and eventually that Ms. Carmichael wrote it."

"Mr. Webb, did Mr. Bergstrom tell you anything else about Abbie Carmichael?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did he tell you how she felt about him getting the death penalty?"

"Oh, yes. He said she talked about it, threatened him with it. He said she said she wished she wanted to kill him herself."

"I have no more questions for this witness," Cutter said smugly.

"Does the defense wish to cross-examine?"

"I just have a few questions," Jack said, standing up.

"Mr. Webb, you just testified that Matt Bergstrom said Ms. Carmichael said she wanted to kill him. Isn't it true that her exact words were that she wished she could put the needle in is arm herself? Referring to the death penalty?"

"Yes, that's true."

"So she was talking about giving him the death penalty, not about murder, isn't that true?"

"To me it's the same thing," Webb replied.

"But not to the law. So it's true that she was talking about legally giving him a lethal injection?"

"Yes," agreed Webb.

"Mr. Webb, you helped Mr. Bergstrom appeal on the grounds of prosecutorial misconduct. Was his appeal granted?"

"No," Webb admitted.

"No further questions," said Jack.

Judge McKenna looked at the clock, and said, "We'll recess until tomorrow morning."

TBC

_This chapter was basically testimony and technical courtroom stuff, but the next one will be more personal stuff. What did you think of this chapter, was it too technical or not? _

_Please review._


	13. Chapter 13

_I'm so, so sorry it's been so long. I've just sort-of been stuck for a while. I think I'm going to speed things up a little and finish tghis pretty soon._

_I don't own Law & Order._

Abbie left the courtroom quickly, glad to get away from the horrible accusations and insinuations. Somehow, she hadn't thought it would be that hard on her. She was tough, she could handle people saying bad things about her. It wasn't even the first time she'd ever been called a vicious, cold-blooded murder. Defendants, their families, even their lawyers said that kind of thing to her all the time, and it never bothered her. This wasn't really that different.

But it was. Maybe because this time, she was the defendant, maybe because they meant it literally and wanted the jury to believe it and so far it was probably working. And she couldn't say anything to defend herself, the prosecution got to put on their entire case first, prove that she was a murderer, before she could say a word, and even then, it would be Jack defending her, not her defending herself, and she really, really, was dreading being cross-examined by Michael Cutter. And maybe it was because she really had killed someone, and even if it was in self defense, that didn't change the fact that there was still the faintest outline of what had once been a bloodstain on her living room carpet. The phrase "the truth hurts" drifted into her mind. She tried to push it away, because the truth was _not_ that she was a cold-blooded murderer, and she _did_ believe that. Really. She did. She had absolutely no doubts whatsoever that she had done the only thing she could do, that if she hadn't killed Matt Bergstrom, he would have killed her. That the only reason charges were being brought against her was because of politics, that Michael Cutter was an asshole, that if she were in his place she never would have prosecuted someone in her position. And she was going to be found not guilty and they'd all go home and live happily ever after. And she'd get her job back, and prosecute real criminals-

Thankfully, her unconvincing chain of thought was broken off by Jack, who had followed her out of the courtroom. "Let's get out of here before the reporters start in on us," he suggested, and she was grateful he hadn't asked if she was okay. She wouldn't have known how to answer.

Abbie couldn't sleep, and the truth was, she didn't want to. Rather than even trying to go to bed, she flopped onto her couch, kicked off her shoes, and flipped through the tv channels, trying to find a show absorbing enough to take her away from her problems, and more difficultly, having nothing to do with murder, shootings, death, crime, or trials. But every channel she tried somehow reminded her of her predicament- police shows, murder mysteries, soap operas that just happened to show someone holding a gun at that particular moment, the history channel talking about famous murders, an episode of a sitcom in which some character happened to be on trial, even the cartoon channel was showing Tom chasing Jerry with a butcher knife.

She finally settled on a Discovery Channel program about poisonous snakes- while it was not particularly absorbing, or comforting, at least she could look at the screen without seeing the image of Matt Bergstrom's body bleeding out on her floor.

TBC

_Please review._


	14. Chapter 14

_I don't own Law & Order_

The rest of the prosecution's case went by in a blur of nightmarish days. Cutter called witnesses to show that she had hated Matt Bergstrom, to imply that she had framed him for murder, and to describe how she had stabbed him in the neck and stood over him with the knife as his blood flowed onto her floor. With every word of testimony uttered, the jury's stares grew fiercer and more horrified.

Of course, Jack's cross-examinations were great. But since most of the witnesses were telling the truth, as far as they knew it, since she had hated Bergstrom and she had killed him, at this stage of the trial there was little they could do.

Finally, Mike Cutter told the judge, "The prosecution rests."

Jack and Abbie had spent every second since she'd gotten out of jail preparing their case. They had only two witnesses- Abbie, to tell the truth about how Bergstrom had attacked her and she'd killed him in self-defense, and Jack, to show that she'd been afraid of him when she found out he was out of jail, and to rebut the prosecutions accusations that Abbie had been out to get Bergstrom.

"Your Honor, for our first witness I'd like to call myself to the stand," Jack said.

"Objection!" Cutter nearly screamed.  
The judge considered the question. "Mr. McCoy, if you're your own witness, who will question you?"

"Ms. Carmichael can. I have case law, in _Carsoon v. United Food Products_ the court ruled that an attorney can be called as a witness."

"But that was a civil case, and the attorney was also a codefendant!" Cutter protested. "Your Honor, in _People v. Smith_ and _Keely v. United _States, it was ruled that an attorney could not testify in a case they're trying."

The judge considered. "I think this issue could go either way, but I'm going to sustain that objection. Mr. McCoy, I don't want any of your theatrics and I know if I let you testify this will turn into a circus."

"Your Honor, if we lose this is grounds for appeal," Jack said.

"Mr. McCoy, I've made my ruling and if you continue to argue with me I'll hold you in contempt. Call your next witness."

"The defense calls Abbie Carmichael."

TBC

_ I completely made up the cases and the law here._

_I know this is incredibly short and I skipped most of the trial. I was stuck with this story for a while, so I decided to just skip the unnecesary parts, and this chapter is basically transition. I should have the next chapter up soon, I'm going to work on it now._


	15. Chapter 15

_I don't own Law & Order._

Abbie knew she shouldn't be this scared. All she had to do was tell the truth, and she'd prepared for it. On top of that, she was _her_, Abbie, strong and confident and not afraid to speak her mind. She wasn't the type of person to let Cutter push her around and put words in her mouth. As a prosecutor, she'd always thought she'd be a good witness.

Yet she was petrified. Her hands trembled as she swore to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, and she had to take a deep breath to keep her voice from shaking, and she knew that Matt Bergstrom had turned her into someone she wasn't, and she was going to have to relive it.

She couldn't meet Jack's eyes.

"Please state your name for the record," the judge told her.

"Abbie Carmichael."

Jack began his questioning. "Ms. Carmichael, did you know Matt Bergstrom,"

"Yes." Her voice was toneless, but it didn't tremble.

"How did you meet him?"

"I prosecuted him for multiple murders. He was a serial killer."

Cutter objected to the characterization, but the judge overruled it.

Jack continued as if he hadn't been interrupted, "You prosecuted him, do you mean in court?"

"It didn't get to trial, he pled guilty."

"Can you tell the jury about the crimes he pled guilty too?"

She described how Matt Bergstrom had tortured and killed his victims. She knew what she was saying was horrifying, but she was still unable to look at the jury to see their reactions.

"While you were prosecuting Bergstrom, did he make any threats toward you, or act threateningly towards you?"

Abbie gave an involuntary shudder and described how when Matt Bergstrom had confessed his crimes, it had been as much threat as confession.

"Did you coerce him into pleading guilty?" Jack's voice held the emotion Abbie's lacked, and his tone now told the jury that the idea was ridiculous.

"No."

"You didn't frame him, did you?"

"No."

"What happened after Mr. Bergstrom pleaded guilty?"

"He went to prison."

"When was the next time you saw him?"

"I was getting take-out. I saw him on the street."

"Did you confront him?"

"No, I kept walking."

"What did you do then?"

"I went to see you."

"Why?"

Abbie knew they must have prepared for the question, knew she must have an answer, but she couldn't think of it. "I don't know," she said, still not looking up.

"Were you afraid of Matt Bergstrom?"

She didn't want to admit it. Despite everything, despite the fact that she was on trial for killing him and her only hope was to convince the jury that she was the victim, that he'd tried to kill her, that she'd been terrified of him and for a reason, to admit out loud in open court that she'd been afraid of Matt Bergstrom felt like letting him win.

"Yes," she said, still avoiding Jack's eyes. "I was afraid of him." She was not crying, as she'd almost feared she might, but her voice was as toneless as if she was a computer reading a script. She knew that the jury would never believe her if she was like this, that she had to connect with them and let them feel her fear, but she couldn't even bring herself to look at them.

"Then what happened?"

"We ate Chinese food." She didn't know why she said that.

"And after that?"

"I went back to work."

"What time did you leave at?"

"After twelve."

They went through the rest of the night, how he'd given her a ride home and offered to walk her in- for an instant she almost smiled, remembering her refusal- _I don't know if that was a clumsy attempt at a pickup line or an overly chivalrous concern for my safety, but either way, I'm fine._ She didn't tell the jury that, just that she'd refused, and that she should have let him walk her in. She managed to look at them then, for just a moment. They were watching her solemnly, and she couldn't read their faces.

Jack asked what happened when she went inside, and suddenly she was back in that moment, pressed against her door with the knife to her throat knowing she was about to die. She took a deep, shuddering breath and described it to the jury, her words vivid with detail but her tone still emotionless. She wasn't in the courtroom, she was in her living room, somehow standing over Matt Bergstrom's body with a knife watching his blood drip out, and simultaneously struggling against him, gag in her mouth and knife slicing into her arm. She desperately needed to look up at Jack, to see that it was over and everything was okay, but she couldn't. Maybe because everything wasn't okay, maybe because she didn't want to see on his face that they were going to lose, maybe because if she met his gaze she would start crying and she could not let that happen.

"No further questions," he said finally. And now the hard part was going to begin.

TBC

_Please review._


	16. Chapter 16

_I don't own Law & Order._

"We'll recess for lunch now," the judge announced, and Abbie stepped down from the witness stand and headed out of the courtroom.

"Ms. Carmichael, do you believe you'll be convicted?" a reporter demanded as she left the courtroom.

"No comment."

"What was it like testifying?" another reporter chimed in.

"Has this changed your views on the justice system?"

"Was it really self defense?"

"Do you think the jury will return a just verdict?"

"No comment," Abbie repeated again and again.

"Are you worried about being cross-examined?"

Finally, Abbie did answer, snapping, "Not if his questions are as idiotic as yours." She pushed past the reporters and made her way out of the courtroom.

"If you can handle Cutter as well as you did those reporters, you'll be fine," Jack said from behind her.

She didn't turn around to look at him, but answered, "I have to admit I feel a lot better now."

"I should have found someone for you to cut down before I put you on the stand."

"Jack…" she started to apologize for how badly she'd testified, or to explain it, but he interrupted.

"It's okay. You'll do better on cross, and I'll redirect you on the important points. Abbie?"

Finally she turned to look at him.

"Remember what you told me at the station that night? How you told me?"

She nodded.

"That's what you have to get across to the jury. On cross, just don't let Cutter put words in your mouth. Then I'll ask you why you killed him, and you'll need to show the jury that it really was self defense."

Abbie nodded, and said, "I want to be by myself right now, I'll see you back in court."

"Don't jump bail," Abbie hoped it was a joke.

About an hour later, Abbie was back on the witness stand, and the judge was reminding her that she was still under oath. And then the cross-examination began.

"Isn't it true that you hated Matt Bergstrom?" Cutter demanded.

"He brutally tortured and murdered people, who wouldn't hate him?"

"Your Honor, the witness's statement is nonresponsive and I move that it be stricken from the record," Cutter told the judge.

"Sustained. Ms. Carmichael, please answer the question you are asked."

"Didn't you hate Matt Bergstrom? Yes or no."

"Yes, because he-"

"Thank you," Cutter cut her off. "And isn't it true that you wanted to kill him?"

"I wanted him to stop murdering people."

"You wanted him to die, right?"

"I hoped he would be executed, yes."

"And you personally wanted to kill him, right?"

"No."

"Ms. Carmichael, didn't you say to Mr. Bergstrom that it was ironic that it would be a woman who would kill him?"

"It was ironic." As soon as the words left her mouth she wanted to slap herself, and she could feel Jack wince from across the courtroom.

"Isn't it true that this knife" he held up the so-called murder weapon "belongs to you?"

"Yes, he must have-"

"So the answer is yes. Isn't it true that you killed Matt Bergstrom?"

"Only in self defense."

"Your Honor, I move that the witness's answer be stricken as non-responsive."

"Sustained."

"Ms. Carmichael, did you kill Matt Bergstrom?"

"Yes, in-"

"Thank you. No further questions."

The cross-examination had been shorter than she'd expected- probably because he'd gotten exactly what he'd wanted.

"Redirect, Your Honor?" Jack requested.

"Go ahead."

"Ms. Carmichael, when you entered your house that evening, did you plan to kill Matt Bergstrom?"

"No, I had no idea he would be there."

"What happened when you realized he was there?"

"I'd just closed the door and suddenly he was there with his knife at my throat. I was so scared I couldn't even scream, at first, and he started telling me what he was… going to do to me, and I tried to fight back but he was stronger than me…"

"And then what happened?"

"He started to tie up my hands, and all I could think of was the crime scene photos I'd scene of what he'd done to his other…" She trailed off.

"Yes?"

"Of what he'd done to his other victims. I couldn't let that happen to me, so I jerked away and grabbed the knife and just… stabbed him with it. I didn't have any choice."

"Thank you. No further questions."

TBC

_Please review!_


	17. Chapter 17

_I don't own Law & Order._

"Ms. Carmichael, you may step down," the judge said, and Abbie returned to her seat at the defense table.

"Does the defense have any more witnesses?"

"No, Your Honor, the defense rests."

"Any rebuttal witnesses, Mr. Cutter?"

"No, Your Honor."

"In that case, are you ready to give your closing argument, Mr. McCoy?"

"Yes, Your Honor." Jack moved to the front of the jury box.

Abbie had seen him make many closing statements, but never before had her future rested on his oratory. She barely breathed as he began.

"Abbie Carmichael is not a murderer. She never planned to kill the so-called "victim." When she went into her home that evening and was confronted by a serial killer holding a knife, she did what she had to, what any reasonable person would do- she fought for her life. And in doing so, she killed him. Not because she hated him, not because she wanted him dead, but because it was him or her.

"The prosecution doesn't have a shred of evidence to show otherwise. None of their witnesses saw what happened. Mr. Webb wasn't there. Detective Green wasn't there. I wasn't there. None of you were there. The only person in this courtroom who knows what happened is Abbie Carmichael. And she told you what happened; she told you how she was attacked and fought for her life and killed her attacker. You have no reason not to believe her.

"Matt Bergstrom's death, like any death, is a tragedy. As Mr. Cutter told you, this is what happened because of Abbie Carmichael's actions." Abbie mentally winced as Jack held up a photo of Matt Bergstrom's body in a puddle of blood on her carpet. "But _this_ is what would have happened if she had not acted," Jack continued, holding up, one at a time, the crime scene photos of Matt Bergstrom's victims. He laid all the photos in front of the jury, and compared to the horror of the four dead, mutilated, women, Bergstrom's body was as serene as if he had died in his sleep.

Jack looked each juror in the eye, and told them, "Don't punish Abbie Carmichael for doing the only thing she _could_ do, the only thing any reasonable person would do. Find Ms. Carmichael not guilty on all charges. She did what she had to do to save her life. Please don't put her in jail for it." He sat down.

Michael Cutter's closing went by in a blur. Abbie tried not to listen, but the horrible words he used to describe her cut into her mind. "Horrible… despicable… cold-blooded murder… heinous… vengeful… cruel… guilty." Finally, he sat down. The judge instructed the jury on the charges and sent them to deliberate.

The wait was unbearable, but not long. It was less than an hour before it was announced, "The jury has reached a verdict."

The jury was led back into the courtroom and everyone was seated in their proper places. "Have you reached a verdict?" the judge asked the forewoman.

"Yes, Your Honor."

"On the count of murder in the first degree, how do you find?"

"We find the defendant…"

TBC

_Yes, I am evil. But I already have the next chapter written, and I'll post it once I get some reviews. :-)_


	18. Chapter 18

_I don't own Law & Order._

"We find the defendant guilty."

"Wait. _What_?" Abbie gasped. The tension in the courtroom of the moment before the verdict is read broke, and people began to move around, but Abbie was still caught in a web of confusion and shock, not yet sure of what she had just heard. She looked to Jack, waiting for him to say something, but he did not need to. The fearful, guilty horror on his face was enough to verify that they hadn't believed her. They had bought the prosecution's rhetoric, believed the horrible adjectives Cutter had used to describe her, not cared that she was the victim here, that the man she had killed was a vicious, evil killer who had killed, who had enjoyed killing, who would have killed her had she not managed to stop him. They hadn't understood what it was like to know that you were about to die and there was nothing to do to stop it, and then suddenly there is a way, and you take it, pay the horrible price to stay alive. Killing someone was the last thing she'd wanted to do, but if she hadn't, the crime scene photos Cutter had paraded before the jury would have been of her, not of Matt Bergstrom. But the jury didn't believe any of that. They had just announced that she was the murderer, that she was going to jail. The irony did not escape her- in every other trial she had ever been part of, "guilty" was the verdict she had hoped for.

The bailiff approached the defense table to take Abbie away, and Michael Cutter also came over to the defense table. "I bet that deal looks good to you now," he said to Jack as the bailiff put Abbie in handcuffs.

Abbie strained to hear Jack's response, but the bailiff was herding her away, so she couldn't hear his words, only the guilt in his voice.

TBC

_Please don't hate me._

_And please review._


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